What To Wear To A Funeral In The Summer?

What to wear to a funeral in the summer? – If you are attending a funeral in the summer, women can choose to wear a dark coloured floaty skirt with a plain blouse/top, or a dress. For men, a linen-style suit might be more comfortable in the heat, otherwise you can opt for smart trousers and a lightweight shirt. Sunglasses are usually accepted for outside services.

What is appropriate to wear to a summer funeral?

Choosing A Cool Fabric – In the summer, it’s important to choose a cool fabric for your clothing. Linen, chambray, cotton, and seersucker are all great options for staying comfortable during a hot funeral. These fabrics are lightweight and breathable, which will help you stay cool during the service. You should avoid wearing silk or wool, as these materials can be too warm for the summer months.

What does a woman wear to a summer funeral?

6. Stick to Neutral Colors – It’s becoming more common for people to wear all types of colors to funerals. Some funerals invite guests to wear a particular color or pattern in honor of the deceased, and others leave it up to the guest to decide. When in doubt, however, avoid bright colors.

What should I wear to a summer funeral not black?

What to wear to a funeral – general rules – In terms of colours, we’ve covered the basics of what to wear to a funeral that’s not black. However, it’s worth noting some additional rules about the kind of clothes you should be wearing, regardless of colour.

Turning up in a tightly fitted dress with an eye-catching designer handbag may be considered disrespectful, for example. For women, the conventional options are a smart dress, skirt and blouse, or a trouser suit. For a dress or skirt, it’s best to go for something knee-length to keep it respectful. Similarly, jewellery and makeup should be kept to a minimum.

That’s especially true for eye makeup, which can be problematic in an emotional service. Go for smart shoes with a sturdy heel. Most funerals involve some amount of standing and walking, so you’ll want something comfortable. On the other hand, men should wear a suit with a long-sleeve shirt.

Trousers, a shirt and a tie are acceptable if the weather is too warm for a suit jacket. At some summer funerals, a short-sleeve shirt may also be appropriate, although this is less formal. Shoes should always be smart, with trainers a no-go. Be sure to polish your shoes and iron your shirt to keep things smart, as well as shaving or trimming your beard.

Again, it’s all about being neat and tidy.

Is it OK to wear a sleeveless dress to a funeral?

Are Dresses Required For Women Attending A Funeral? – No. While conservative dresses and dress-suits are appropriate, they are not required. As with men, it’s best to consider similar options that would be appropriate for a business meeting. Dresses, skirt-suits, pantsuits, and skirts or pants paired with nice blouses or tops are appropriate for most funeral services.

What not to wear to a summer funeral?

Dress Conservatively – Because a funeral is a somber occasion, it is best to dress in conservative colors and styles in semi-formal attire, Black is still the safest color for funeral attire, but you don’t have to wear solid black. A black suit with a white shirt is acceptable or a dress that’s mostly black but has a subtle color in the pattern is also fine to wear.

Resist wearing bright colors or wild prints.Avoid dressing in casual clothing, such as athletic wear, tank tops, or shorts.Skip the flip-flops, tennis shoes, sneakers, or boat shoes.Remove the neon necktie, purse, or accessory.Shy away from wearing jeans, even black ones, because they are considered too casual for a funeral. But if you only have a pair of black jeans, pair it with a tailored blazer, a nice shirt, and shoes (not sneakers) to make the look more fitting for the occasion.

Is it OK to wear sandals to a summer funeral?

Do: Choose Closed-toed Shoes – Many styles of women’s shoes feature a peep-toe or open toed design. These shoes are not usually considered appropriate for a funeral service, even during the summer months. Opt for a conservative, closed-toed pair of heels or flats.

• The same rule applies for both men’s and women’s sandals.
• If your funeral will be taking place in a warm climate, you might be tempted to throw on a pair of fancier sandals or open-toed shoes.
• However, it’s always a better idea to choose a close-towed pair of shoes and to leave these sandals for the beach.

No matter if you’re a man or a woman, you should also avoid flip-flops at all costs — no matter how casual you expect a funeral to be, these shoes are always considered too casual for a formal affair like a funeral or reception service.

Can a girl wear jeans to a funeral?

Can you wear jeans to a funeral? Bottom line: jeans are not appropriate for a funeral. Unless the family requests them, you should avoid wearing denim to a funeral. However, if it’s a casual, outdoor service, you can consider a dark (almost black denim) paired with a button-down shirt and blazer.

Do you wear black to a summer funeral?

You don’t have to wear black As long as you avoid bright colors and busy patterns, wearing muted colors such as navy, olive, plum or brown is generally acceptable at a funeral.

Is it OK to wear shorts to funeral?

Turrentine Jackson Morrow Funeral Home Do you have questions about what to wear to a funeral or memorial service? Or wonder what to say to someone who has just lost a loved one? The information below may help guide you through unfamiliar circumstances.

1. What to wear to a funeral or memorial service The appropriate attire for a funeral or memorial service is simple: dress to show respect for the person whose life you are remembering.
2. This means selecting clothes that are more conservative, not flashy or brightly colored.
3. Darker dresses, suits, pants, jackets and sweaters are appropriate.

Flip-flops, tank tops, shorts, sundresses, casual tennis shoes and cleavage are not appropriate. Even though the service may be a celebration of life, many of those attending will be mourning. Your goal is to blend in, not be conspicuous. A special note to teenagers or young adults: You live in a very casual world where jeans and casual shirts are appropriate in most settings.

• A funeral is not one of those.
• If this is your first time attending a service, talk to your parents or a trusted friend to help you select what to wear.
• This is the kindest way to show the family you care.
• What to expect at a funeral or memorial service Depending on where the service is held and the wishes of the family, services today vary widely.

Regardless, there are some common guidelines to know:

A guestbook will be outside the service for you to sign. Please do sign it and make your signature legible – the family will treasure reviewing the names of those who attend, and this will be the best way for them to remember you were there.Be on time or early. It is rude to enter a service after it has started. If you are late, enter from one side and be seated as unobtrusively as possible. If the family is processing, wait until they have finished and reached their seats, then enter after them.Seating: the family will have a designated seating area, usually at the front or the side of the room. This area will be marked, so look for “Reserved” signs and avoid sitting in these seats.If an usher is present, you will be shown to a seat. If an usher is not present, it is courteous to enter a row from a side aisle to avoid climbing over people already seated. Much as at any event, seating is “first come, first served” so if you want a “good” seat, arrive early and do not expect people to move for you. The aisle seats are the ones most preferred.Enter the room and sit quietly. Turn off your cell phone and put it away. Your behavior should allow those around you to mourn without distraction.There may be an open casket. At most services, you are welcomed to walk forward prior to the service to pay respects at the casket. Do not touch the body or any of the surrounding items or flowers. However, it is not mandatory to go forward if you prefer not to.When the family enters, you will be instructed to stand until they have entered and taken their seats. Then you will be seated.When the service ends, you will be instructed to stand while the family exits. This recessional will vary depending on the service and the presence of an open vs. closed casket.After the service, the attendees may be ushered out by walking past an open casket. It is most courteous to follow the group. If you prefer not to view the open casket, just walk past without looking.If you are not escorted past the casket, watch for direction on how to exit the service: at-will or by escort row by row.If you are going to the burial and will be driving, you will form a queue behind the vehicles carrying the casket and family members. Turn on your lights and follow the car in front of you. If your group is escorted to the cemetery, follow the directions of the officers; generally you will be waved through stoplights and stop signs, and out of courtesy other drivers may pull over to let you pass.At the gravesite, stand away from the site to allow the family to be seated before approaching. Then gather close so you can hear the brief service.Following the interment, you are free to leave as you wish. The family often lingers to speak to guests, and they will be your cue as to whether or not you should approach to express your condolences.

How to express sympathy following death One of the most frequent questions we hear is, “What do I say to someone who has just lost a loved one?” There may be special circumstances surrounding the death—an accident, a suicide, unexpected death during surgery—that make the question even more difficult to answer. Here are some simple suggestions:

Please do speak to the family. They will hear eloquent messages and bumbling messages. But the most important thing is that their grief is acknowledged.If you knew the person casually or only slightly, stick with a short statement: “I am so sorry for your loss.”If you have something positive to add, make the statement a little longer: “I am so sorry for your loss. John was the best teacher I ever had.”If you won’t see the family, send a card or a note. The same message you would say in person can be written on the card.Make a donation in the person’s memory. Most people designate a place of worship, charity or other organization that was important to them. The recipient will notify the family of your donation (but not the amount that was given).Offer concrete assistance: a guestroom for family attending the service, grocery shopping or other errands, even staying at the family’s home during the service so the house isn’t unattended.Reach out later, when the flush of attention has ended and the days of grieving may be long and lonely. A simple phone call that says “thinking of you” can mean so much.Share stories that reflect the goodness of the life you’re remembering.Listen. And listen some more.

What NOT to say following a death Most families can relate head-shaking stories of inappropriate comments made following a death—many of them well intended but offensive. Here is what to avoid:

Do not probe for details. It is not your business.Don’t add value judgments: “It’s for the best,” “This is a blessing in disguise.”Don’t assume the family’s beliefs are the same as yours. Avoid comments such as, “He’s in a better place now,” “Everything happens for a reason,” “It was God’s will.”Don’t minimize the family’s loss: “Aren’t you glad it’s over?” “She wouldn’t want you to be sad.”Don’t assume you understand what the family is feeling. Everyone grieves uniquely.

: Turrentine Jackson Morrow Funeral Home

Is it OK to wear non black to funeral?

You Don’t Have To Wear Black – In Western societies, black is traditionally worn as a symbol of grief since it is considered safe. That doesn’t imply you have to go out of your way to get black clothing or suits for the funeral service. Other hues are acceptable as long as they’re not excessively bright or distracting.

• Certain shades are not suited for funerals, such as bright red, yellow, and bright pink However, colors like dark grey, dark blue, darker green, white, and beige can be appropriate.
• If you don’t own any black clothing, you may always opt for a subtle hue that is appropriate for formal settings.
• In addition, stay away from anything with distracting patterns or prints.

Make an effort to wear simple colors and conservative designs whenever you can.

Can you wear floral to a funeral?

Can I Wear Color to A Funeral As funeral directors, we often get asked questions about upcoming funeral services and how to prepare for them. One of the most common one’s we hear is, “can I wear this to a funeral?” In years past, there were never any questions about funeral attire.

Women wore dark dresses and men wore dark suits. But in today’s evolving world, as more and more people plan memorial services and celebrations of life, funeral attire is evolving. Formal, business casual, casual. The options are truly endless. And understandably, confusing. With that being said, it is generally understood that regardless of the style of dress, dark colors are always the preferred choice no matter how casual or formal.

For some people, the thought of wearing dark clothes seems out of place or just plain wrong. This is especially true if your loved one was bubbly or uplifting. In this case, wearing dark and somber colored clothing does not reflect the personality of the deceased.

• Rather than dressing in black, the deceased would probably have preferred bright and colorful clothes to honor them.
• If you have an upcoming funeral, you might find yourself in this predicament.
• Although there is no perfect answer to this, we can offer the following advice.
• When in doubt, always play it safe and dress conservatively.

If the family feels that colorful clothing would be a great way to pay tribute, they will be the ones to let you know. If this is the case, they will express this desire to the funeral director or include it on their loved one’s obituary. However, they may want to have a more traditional funeral service and might feel it is disrespectful if guests are in bright clothing.

If you are unsure, we recommend speaking with the funeral director. In the time leading up to the service, the family should not be bothered with questions about clothing choices. If the family wishes to have guests in traditional dress clothes, there are still ways to incorporate a splash of color into your outfit.

Remember though, if the family has expressed that guests should wear dark clothing, be mindful of that. For men, a simple way to add a splash of color is with your choice of tie. Try to be mindful of how bright your clothing is and select a tie that accents your suit with some color.

Ties should be nice patterns or a simple solid color. If you want to complete the look, pair the tie with a matching pocket square. For women, adding color can be done through patterns and floral designs. Much like with men’s funeral attire, color should be used to subtly accent your outfit. Try to make sure that your outfit does not have overly bright colors or wild patterns that draw attention.

Remember, you are there to mourn the loss and support the family, you outfit should not make you the center of attention. Funeral services do not always have to have a conservative dress code. If you will be attending a celebration of life or memorial service for instance, a black suit or dress may not be necessary.

Typically, these types of services take place weeks or months after a death. In this case, attire is generally more casual as the service is a lighter atmosphere as guests gather to celebrate a life well lived. In some cases, the death of a child might call for a brighter wardrobe. It’s common for schools to hold a ceremony for students to attend.

Rather than be intimidated or scared by the thought of death, students are encouraged to wear bright colored clothes that they will feel comfortable in. Remember, every person is different and no two services are the same. Something we often hear families say is “She was always so bubbly and full of life.

• She wouldn’t want people to be crying and mourning.
• She’d want them to be celebrating her life.” When this happens, sometimes the family elects to have a colorful service with balloons and bright flowers.
• The choice is always up to the family when deciding how they will honor a loved one.
• If you have any questions about funeral attire or etiquette, please do not hesitate to ask.

We would be happy to speak with you and offer guidance to help you prepare for the service. We can also connect you with grief support resources to help you through this period of mourning. : Can I Wear Color to A Funeral

Can you wear bare legs to a funeral?

What not to wear to a funeral – There are few things that should never be worn due to the highly personalised nature of many modern funerals, but broadly speaking there are items of clothing to steer clear of. Bold patterns are not appropriate for funerals and should be avoided.

Eep skirts and dresses to the knee or below and avoid bare legs in general to keep your look formal. Avoid anything sparkly, fringed or sequined – this isn’t a party. Do not wear trainers. It’s also best to avoid open-toed shoes, even smart heeled ones. Wedge shoes are acceptable only if they’re very low-key – no platforms.

It is also wise to avoid shoes with slim heels, particularly if the funeral is graveside as they will sink into the earth and make walking difficult. Exceptions to any of these should only be made if specifically requested on the funeral invite. If the deceased is a child, for instance, their loved ones may ask mourners to wear bright or cheerful clothes, or outfits in their favourite clothes.

Can you wear bare arms to a funeral?

Guidelines For What to Wear to a Funeral –

Match your clothing to the emotions of a funeral by wearing wear low-key, respectful clothing. Dress like you’ll be giving a speech to a group of bankers, or like you are going for an important job interview. Conservative work dress is most appropriate for most funerals. If you think your outfit is too festive or too casual, it probably is. If the funeral is being held in a church, be sure to dress modestly. Cover your arms or shoulders, at the very least. Black is not mandatory, but you can never go wrong wearing it. However, anything in a dark color will be just fine. Other options are gray, navy, brown, dark green, burgundy etc. Avoid wearing jeans. They are just not appropriate for this type of event. They are far too casual. No capris or shorts, even in summer.

Nothing too revealing or tight, such as a plunging neckline, skirt with a slit, or concise dress. Your skirt length should be at the knee or just below. Don’t expose a lot of skin. This is not the time to try and look sexy. Preferably no bare legs. Wear dark stockings or ultra sheer nude hose to show respect. Nothing flashy or bright. If your style is to wear colorful clothes, tone it down for a funeral. No solid bright colors, especially red, orange, or yellow, which in some colors signifies a celebration. Some color on a dark background is o.k. but not much. A black dress with bright stripes or florals can be overpowering. Keep things subdued. The goal is not to try to bring attention to yourself. ( The only exception is if the family requests you wear a favorite color of the deceased, which happens the odd time).

Should you cover your shoulders at a funeral?

A dark dress or suit with skirt of an appropriate length is always good etiquette. Keep shoulders covered and keep a smart jacket to hand as a helpful cover up. A tasteful and respectful colour accent may be appropriate, but if you’re not sure, stick with a block colour.

How should a woman dress for a funeral?

What to Wear to a Funeral: Dos and Don’ts – DO:

Consider where and when the service will be held: A memorial service at a beach will be more casual than a service at a place of worship. Use common sense: If you are attending the funeral of someone you knew to be quite formal, it is likely that the attire should be more conservative. Ask for advice: It is perfectly appropriate to ask an immediate family member or the funeral director for advice on what to wear. The deceased may have specified a preference. For example, someone with a hearty sense of humor may have specified in his or her funeral plan that they would like everyone to wear green. Dress to blend in: We all want to be special but a funeral is not the time to stand out. You want to be dressed along the same lines as the other mourners. Consider the culture: Some cultures have special traditions when it comes to funeral attire. For example, some Asian cultures prefer white and in some African cultures, red and black are the norm. If the funeral is for someone with a distinct cultural background, it is perfectly acceptable to ask a family member if there is preferred attire.

Read more about WHAT NOT TO WEAR TO A FUNERAL DON’T:

Pick this time to be a rebel: A funeral is a time for everyone to mourn. It is not a time to stand out. Underdress: While you are likely to see a range of fashion choices, you are far better off if you are a bit overdressed than underdressed. Step away from the flip flops! Forget why you are there: The whole point of the funeral is to show respect to the deceased. If you choose something that is respectful you will be fine. Agonize: Chances are you have something that will work. Just stick to basic dark colors and cover-up. The important thing is that you are there to honor your loved one. Unless your outfit is over the top or totally inappropriate, no one is likely to even notice what you are wearing.

In general, the etiquette for funeral attire is the same for both men and women: business-type attire that is respectful and conservative. Err on the side of dressing up as opposed to dressing down. Black or another dark color is almost always appropriate.

Be sure to take the weather and location of the service into consideration and consult with a family member of the deceased if you need specific advice. While it’s true that the standard for funeral dress has become more relaxed over the years, clothing should still be respectful and conservative. Keep in mind that your goal is not to place the focus on you.

The best rule of thumb for funeral attire is to dress as you would for a business meeting. Select elements that are respectful and conservative and will not cause a distraction.

Is it OK to wear a dress to a funeral?

What do women wear to a funeral? –

A skirt or dress – these should be knee-length and not flashy or revealing, normally with tights. A pair of smart trousers – jeans and other casual trousers are not appropriate for a funeral. A pair of smart full-length or ankle grazer trousers in a dark colour can be a good option. Plain blouse or top – if you are wearing a skirt or trousers, you can pair this with a smart blouse or top. This should be conservative and plain i.e. no bold colours or patterns. Cardigan, jumper or blazer – if it is winter or the venue is cold, it’s a good idea to bring an additional layer. A blazer can also smarten up a more casual outfit. Smart jumpsuit – this is becoming a popular option, especially as they can be more comfortable for longer services. Smart shoes – flats or sensible heels are the most popular choice. Open-toed shoes or sandals may be worn in some instances (service location/culture/country dependent).

AVOID: Jeans, revealing clothing, flashy jewellery, hats.

What colors should you avoid at a funeral?

2. Do you have to wear black to a funeral? – In short, no. When it comes to knowing what to wear to a funeral that’s not black, there are an array of alternatives that men and women can wear. Although black is the most traditional of colors, smart and dark clothing is also acceptable.

Why can’t you wear a red dress to a funeral?

Why you shouldn’t wear red to a funeral – Wearing red to a funeral can be a sign of disrespect. It will give others a completely wrong impression if you wear a bright and bold colour to a funeral, as this goes against the dark, muted colours associated with sadness and mourning.

It is best to avoid wearing red and other loud colours, according to Diane Gottsman, who is a national etiquette expert, author of Modern Etiquette for a Better Life, and founder of The Protocol School of Texas, “Wearing red is often seen as disrespectful because the colour is bold, stands out, can be distracting and takes on a look of festivity rather than sadness.

I would strongly recommend you choose your wardrobe with the utmost respect for the family member and select a colour and an outfit that shows deference to the departed.”

Is it OK to wear navy blue to a funeral?

Tips for What to Wear to a Funeral If you are planning to attend an upcoming funeral, you may find yourself wondering – what do I wear to a funeral? It’s a common question that leaves many people wondering and struggling to pick an outfit. Casual? Formal? Business professional? Today it seems like the dress code at any given funeral is as unique as the deceased.

While there is no specific dress code to follow, it’s always best to err on the side of caution and pick a conservative outfit. Remember, the most important thing is to make sure your outfit does not call unwanted attention to yourself and away from the service itself. A funeral is a time to show your respect as you honor the life of the deceased, and your clothing should reflect that.

You should try to make sure your clothing avoids any loud colors or designs that will make you stand out among the crowd. Because a funeral is often a somber occasion, it’s best to choose clothes that reflect that. Your clothing does not have to be all black.

It’s common for funeral attendees to wear navy blue, dark grey, violet, and many other colors. Men’s funeral attire should stick to wearing a suit with an ironed white dress shirt and dark tie to match. If you don’t own a suit, it is also acceptable to wear a nice pair of slacks with a dress shirt and tie.

If it is a more casual service like a celebration of life, you could opt for something more business-casual like a nice pair of dress pants and a polo or collared shirt. Funeral attire for women should be simple and conservative as well. This isn’t the time to wear a cocktail dress or something that will draw unnecessary attention.

Instead, stick to a simple dress that covers the shoulders and knees or a business suit. Showing a lot of skin at a funeral is not appropriate, so try to avoid a deep neckline. By no means are we suggesting you wear running shoes with a suit. When you are attending a funeral, you may find yourself on your feet for much of the day.

Make sure to select fashionable shoes that you will be comfortable in. In regard to funeral attire for men, make sure you match your shoes to your suit color. Brown shoes go best with a blue, brown or light grey suit. Black shoes match with a black suit, dark blue or dark grey suit.

1. Women should also make sure that they prioritize comfort over fashion.
2. Shoes like high heels or strappy sandals will leave your feet sore and could make an uncomfortable day that much worse.
3. Select shoes that will be comfortable sitting, standing and walking in (especially if you plan to attend a graveside service).

As we’ve already mentioned, you want to make sure your outfit does not make you stand out too much. Wearing jewelry is acceptable but it should be kept to a minimum. For men, a nice bracelet or watch should suffice. If you match the band to your belt and shoes, it can bring your entire outfit together.

Women can wear a few more pieces of jewelry than men but again, stay conservative with your choices. Pairing some earring’s together with a necklace and rings is completely acceptable. If you have any of the deceased’s jewelry, try to incorporate it into your outfit. The last thing we want is for you to be stressed out about is what you wear to a funeral.

If you find yourself having questions about your attire or any other part of the funeral service, don’t be afraid to ask. As funeral professionals, we’re here to help you honor your friend or loved one. If you are unsure about anything, we would be happy to offer advice and answer your questions.

• Over the years, we’ve heard many of the commonly asked funeral questions and will be there to offer assistance.
• As long as you look respectful and not over the top, you’ll fit right in.
• Don’t feel like you need to spend a ton of money either to go out and purchase a brand-new outfit.
• If you need to buy one or two things that’s fine, but you don’t need to spend hundreds of dollars.

If you’re really tight on money, consider visiting a local thrift store or borrowing some clothes from a friend. All that really matters is that you are there to be a part of the day and pay your respects. You should wear clothes that are respectful, and you feel comfortable in.

What does purple mean at a funeral?

Purple flowers represent respect, sorrow, sympathy and admiration. Yellow flowers signify friendship, warmth and hope. Pink flowers represent grace, compassion and innocence.

Is it OK to wear sandals to a summer funeral?

Do: Choose Closed-toed Shoes – Many styles of women’s shoes feature a peep-toe or open toed design. These shoes are not usually considered appropriate for a funeral service, even during the summer months. Opt for a conservative, closed-toed pair of heels or flats.

The same rule applies for both men’s and women’s sandals. If your funeral will be taking place in a warm climate, you might be tempted to throw on a pair of fancier sandals or open-toed shoes. However, it’s always a better idea to choose a close-towed pair of shoes and to leave these sandals for the beach.

No matter if you’re a man or a woman, you should also avoid flip-flops at all costs — no matter how casual you expect a funeral to be, these shoes are always considered too casual for a formal affair like a funeral or reception service.

Do you have to wear a jacket at a funeral in summer?

What to wear to a funeral in the summer or winter – You may need to dress slightly differently depending on the time of year in which the funeral is taking place. It’s important to choose clothes that you will comfortable in as some funerals can last a few hours.

• In the summer, women may wish to wear a smart skirt or dress if it is a hot day.
• For men, a formal suit is still typically worn but you may be allowed to take your jacket off if you become uncomfortably hot.
• Dark colours are still appropriate and sunglasses are generally accepted outside of the service.

If the funeral is taking place on a cold day in the winter, it’s important to wear warm clothing and extra layers, especially if you are attending a graveside service. Dark coloured coats, jackets, scarves and gloves may be worn.

What do you wear to a spring summer funeral?

#6: Wear Neutral Tones – While black or navy blue is always a safe choice to wear to a funeral, other colors are more acceptable. Dark colors absorb heat faster, so pay attention if the life celebration or memorial will be outside. Proper funeral attire for a spring memorial includes light, neutral colors: gray, beige, mauve, white, or off-white.

Is it inappropriate to wear shorts to a funeral?

Turrentine Jackson Morrow Funeral Home Do you have questions about what to wear to a funeral or memorial service? Or wonder what to say to someone who has just lost a loved one? The information below may help guide you through unfamiliar circumstances.

What to wear to a funeral or memorial service The appropriate attire for a funeral or memorial service is simple: dress to show respect for the person whose life you are remembering. This means selecting clothes that are more conservative, not flashy or brightly colored. Darker dresses, suits, pants, jackets and sweaters are appropriate.

Flip-flops, tank tops, shorts, sundresses, casual tennis shoes and cleavage are not appropriate. Even though the service may be a celebration of life, many of those attending will be mourning. Your goal is to blend in, not be conspicuous. A special note to teenagers or young adults: You live in a very casual world where jeans and casual shirts are appropriate in most settings.

A funeral is not one of those. If this is your first time attending a service, talk to your parents or a trusted friend to help you select what to wear. This is the kindest way to show the family you care. What to expect at a funeral or memorial service Depending on where the service is held and the wishes of the family, services today vary widely.

Regardless, there are some common guidelines to know:

A guestbook will be outside the service for you to sign. Please do sign it and make your signature legible – the family will treasure reviewing the names of those who attend, and this will be the best way for them to remember you were there.Be on time or early. It is rude to enter a service after it has started. If you are late, enter from one side and be seated as unobtrusively as possible. If the family is processing, wait until they have finished and reached their seats, then enter after them.Seating: the family will have a designated seating area, usually at the front or the side of the room. This area will be marked, so look for “Reserved” signs and avoid sitting in these seats.If an usher is present, you will be shown to a seat. If an usher is not present, it is courteous to enter a row from a side aisle to avoid climbing over people already seated. Much as at any event, seating is “first come, first served” so if you want a “good” seat, arrive early and do not expect people to move for you. The aisle seats are the ones most preferred.Enter the room and sit quietly. Turn off your cell phone and put it away. Your behavior should allow those around you to mourn without distraction.There may be an open casket. At most services, you are welcomed to walk forward prior to the service to pay respects at the casket. Do not touch the body or any of the surrounding items or flowers. However, it is not mandatory to go forward if you prefer not to.When the family enters, you will be instructed to stand until they have entered and taken their seats. Then you will be seated.When the service ends, you will be instructed to stand while the family exits. This recessional will vary depending on the service and the presence of an open vs. closed casket.After the service, the attendees may be ushered out by walking past an open casket. It is most courteous to follow the group. If you prefer not to view the open casket, just walk past without looking.If you are not escorted past the casket, watch for direction on how to exit the service: at-will or by escort row by row.If you are going to the burial and will be driving, you will form a queue behind the vehicles carrying the casket and family members. Turn on your lights and follow the car in front of you. If your group is escorted to the cemetery, follow the directions of the officers; generally you will be waved through stoplights and stop signs, and out of courtesy other drivers may pull over to let you pass.At the gravesite, stand away from the site to allow the family to be seated before approaching. Then gather close so you can hear the brief service.Following the interment, you are free to leave as you wish. The family often lingers to speak to guests, and they will be your cue as to whether or not you should approach to express your condolences.

How to express sympathy following death One of the most frequent questions we hear is, “What do I say to someone who has just lost a loved one?” There may be special circumstances surrounding the death—an accident, a suicide, unexpected death during surgery—that make the question even more difficult to answer. Here are some simple suggestions:

Please do speak to the family. They will hear eloquent messages and bumbling messages. But the most important thing is that their grief is acknowledged.If you knew the person casually or only slightly, stick with a short statement: “I am so sorry for your loss.”If you have something positive to add, make the statement a little longer: “I am so sorry for your loss. John was the best teacher I ever had.”If you won’t see the family, send a card or a note. The same message you would say in person can be written on the card.Make a donation in the person’s memory. Most people designate a place of worship, charity or other organization that was important to them. The recipient will notify the family of your donation (but not the amount that was given).Offer concrete assistance: a guestroom for family attending the service, grocery shopping or other errands, even staying at the family’s home during the service so the house isn’t unattended.Reach out later, when the flush of attention has ended and the days of grieving may be long and lonely. A simple phone call that says “thinking of you” can mean so much.Share stories that reflect the goodness of the life you’re remembering.Listen. And listen some more.

What NOT to say following a death Most families can relate head-shaking stories of inappropriate comments made following a death—many of them well intended but offensive. Here is what to avoid:

Do not probe for details. It is not your business.Don’t add value judgments: “It’s for the best,” “This is a blessing in disguise.”Don’t assume the family’s beliefs are the same as yours. Avoid comments such as, “He’s in a better place now,” “Everything happens for a reason,” “It was God’s will.”Don’t minimize the family’s loss: “Aren’t you glad it’s over?” “She wouldn’t want you to be sad.”Don’t assume you understand what the family is feeling. Everyone grieves uniquely.

: Turrentine Jackson Morrow Funeral Home